For one- when I logged on to check my dead-beat myspace, they had an advertisement for the new disney movie coming out, "The Sorcerer's Apprentice." I was thinking "how freakin' cool!" but then something caught my eye. And not in a good kind of way. It was the sorcerer.... and he is being played by Nicholas Cage.
CAN SOMEBODY EXPLAIN THAT TO ME?
how in any way, shape, or form does Nicholas Cage fit the role of a sorcerer. He's supposed to play the mid-life crisis, half balding, ugly guy whose eyes are all squinty and one shuts slower than the other! How could disney let him play something so insanely awesome as a sorcerer? I was honestly considering writing a letter of my hatred to Walt Disney himself, but I don't think his frozen corpse would have a skill for reading.
But seriously- look at this.
What the bloody heck is he wearing?! That does not look like a sorcerer at all! Laaaame. All I have to say is that Captain Jack Sparrow called, he wants his outfit back.
To add to the hilarious effect of this picture, let's create some dialouge, shall we?
"Quick Sir! Before it's too late! We need to collect as much energy for the orb as possible, or all is lost to misery and endless woe!"
"Don't worry Albert, I have this under control. I once discovered the hidden treasures left behind my America's forefathers, and then I sold my soul to the devil to become a flesh-less biker! All is saved!"
I don't think so, Nicholas Cage. You're meant to play all your crappy past characters, NOT a coooooolbeans sorcerer. Try again. Plus, you bring mini-dreadlocks to shame.
There are just some things that just go really well together. PB &J? Yes. Chips & Salsa? Yes. Peas & Carrots? Yes. Addie & Paul McCartney? DUH. But Nicholas Cage and amazing sorcery skills? You've got to be kidding.
Nice try, Nick. Nice try.
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